The Olympics - OK, I was wrong and right...

...because the London 2012 Olympic Games were not 'shit'. For those that read my previous blog entry on the Olympics you may feel this is massively hypocritical but I know when I'm wrong and I am the first to admit it.

I still stand by the annoyance of 'brand guidelines' when it comes to even mentioning it but, in all fairness, this is an annoyance when dealing with any sporting event of global magnitude. The corporate bigwigs have their share in anything as noble and simple as a competition to see who's the strongest/fastest/most agile etc. I'm surprised they haven't started getting marketing rights to Millfield School's sportsday.

And I'm sure I'm not the only person who is writing exactly the same, that this Olympic Games has been 100% amazing. I did not grasp the enormity of having the Olympics in our own country and it wasn't until I saw the amazing journey of the torch in the build up that I started to get a tingle. But still I thought I could go through it without it impacting on my day-to-day life and that it wouldn't be "all that". I could not have been more wrong.

From the Armed Forces that came in last minute to add some much needed stability and professionalism to proceedings, to the thousands of volunteers who have given up time and money to be a part of this momentous fortnight, I take my hat off to you. To the participants of the opening ceremony and the understated, tongue in cheek but remarkably proud way Danny Boyle presented a history of Britain, I take my hat off to you. To the hundreds of athletes from Team GB that have trained their lives for these two weeks and who have succeeded or fallen short, I take my hat off to you. But the biggest hat dismount has to be saved for one set of professionals who sometimes misfire, but who always do things their way - The BBC.

Coverage of the Olympics has been nothing short of breath-taking and this is what we pay our licence fee for. We've had the most easy-to-use and comprehensive, all-encompassing online facilities so you can literally watch every second of every event at work. As I have been working a notice period, I have found this invaluable.

Then we've had the expert commentary. And by expert I don't mean Adrian Chiles jibbering away in his incoherent way, acting like a special needs pupil that has won a competition to be on telly. I don't mean Gareth Southgate and Andy Townsend who are, apparently experts in everything. And I don't mean Tinie Tempah or Lily Allen or whoever ITV are contractually obliged to showcase every 24 hours.

I mean, legend and multi-gold medal winning swimmer Ian Thorpe giving genuine analysis on the swimming; world-record holder and game-changer Michael Johnson for athletics; former British hopeful and former Tennis top 4 Tim Henman for tennis; Silver medal-winner Steve Cram commentating, gold-medal winner Denise Lewis punditting... the list goes on. I have found each opinion and emotion of these experts to be a genuine insight into the psyche and emotional state of the competing athletes. It has helped me understand what the athletes are going through and, in all honesty, it has helped me understand whether they are doing well or not. In terms of Jess Ennis' journey to gold, I had no idea whether her long jump was good or bad, or whether her shot put was below par. But with Denise Lewis walking me through it, I knew exactly what Jess needed to do and it therefore made me an expert for that two-day period.

Just something as simple as interviewing competitors within one minute of them completing their event meant we saw the emotion and elation/sadness first hand. We didn't see some polished PR machine, we saw tears of joy and pain. And I'm proud to say that, at times, I cried along with them. Crying at the reaction to winning the dressage as people praised a dancing horse that had no idea what it had done, was admittedly, a low point of the games for me. But I wouldn't take it back.

People were quick to pull out the knives when it came to the BBC's coverage of the Diamond Jubilee but, as I wouldn't watch it if god him/herself had choreographed it, I can't comment. All I know is that no one does sport like the BBC. Yes, Sky were the first to market with super slow-mo, but they only used it to show a footballer spitting really really slowly. Yes ITV also exists. But no one captures sport and packages it in a way that makes it relevant, entertaining and informative like the BBC.

So when everyone is (quite rightly) praising the athletes, volunteers, armed forces, British public and overall organisers, please don't forget the professionals who have taken us from our sofas to each stroke of on oar, each turn of a pedal, each stride of a piston-like leg, each burst of a clay pigeon, each kick to a chest and punch to a face, each tear, each smile and every single medal Team GB has earned. Thank you BBC. Gold medal performance.


 

The Olympics is shit...

... and I'm already bored to death of it. I think this summer may make me so angry that I could actually set a new world record (wind assisted) for screaming "who cares?" at my telly.

So what particularly irks me about the Olympics? Is it the fact that we all have to pretend to be "British" for a few weeks. Just like during Wimbledon. "Chris Hoy's a great example of British achievement." "Just look at what we can achieve if we give our sports proper funding." No - that's what happens when a Scot gets English funding. But, to be fair, until the Scots get washed away by memories of Braveheart and vote for devolution (and quickly go the way of Glasgow Rangers) we will continue to let them live on hand outs so we might as well get some gold and a sports personality out of it.

Is it the 'sports' that are now in the Olympics that annoy me? Greco Roman Wrestling? BMX? Women's Beach Volleyball (sponsored by Television X)? Canooing? Again, no. It would be pretty small-minded of me to attack a global sporting smorgasboard because they "had bloody foreign sports in it". I am not the type to go abroad, find an English pub, eat egg and chips, drink Carling, watch the football and start a fight with the long-suffering locals, and I'm not about to start now. No, I won't be watching Greco Roman Wrestling. No I won't be watching Handball and I most certainly won't be watching the synchronised swimming. I will, as a non-existent god is my witness, be watching the Women's Beach Volleyball.

What fucks me off to stages of apoplexy is how bloody seriously the whole thing takes itself. I'm talking specifically about the Orwellian rules surrounding mentioning 'Olympics', using a logo, saying 'London' in the same sentence as 'running' and using the colours of the Olympic rings (ie all primary colours). The company I work for is loosely connected to the Olympics and the rule book that came over about what we can and can't say is absolutely mind-blowing. We aren't able to even hint at an 'event' involving 'sport' in 'London' alongside our logo. We genuinely can't use the Olympic colours of the rings in the same image/design. And from what I've heard, if there are any Little Chefs still going - good luck at trying to sell an Olympic Breakfast in 2012.

For an event that is meant to be 'for amateurs' I find it repulsive that it has turned into a rolling, festering cabaret of exuberance and greed that, like U2, goes from country to country, bleeding it dry, and then moving on. How much has the UK spent on these games? Will we get that money back? Will anyone living within 200 miles of the games be able to get to work? Will we even be able to say the word 'Olympic' without being tasered and hurled in the back of a Brand Van and taken to Brand Awareness Camp? I wouldn't go in the showers if I were you.

So, basically, if you take the Olympics for what it is, you have supreme athletes competing across a range of disciplines against the best in the world to see who is going to be crowned the best of the best. Lovely. Spot on. Chalk me in for some of that. I'd watch that day in day out.

What we'll have is every advert under the sun making reference to Olympics, every front page of every newspaper prattling on about Olympics, every company that has paid upwards of £10 million using their logo alongside the Olympic logo. We'll have flags and t-shirts being confiscated on the way in because they contradict the main sponsors. And we'll have a fair bit of mess to clean up once the world and his wife have pissed off in August.

So, because I understand the power of suggestion, and search engine optimisation, and annoying people, I will now use the logos you aren't allowed to use, with the colours that are banned and make crass links to the Olympics which explicitly connect my blog to their brand. Let's see how long I last before I'm asked to take it down or I'm arrested. Ahhhh the Olympic spirit. (If you are the judge presiding over my case and reading this then I was joking below and I'm really sorry.)

This blog is the official sponsor of the London 2012 Olympic Games. All other sponsors haven't paid as much as I have to be part of something that should be essentially free.

Usain Bolt endorses this Blog and he says it is directly linked to him running faster