So what particularly irks me about the Olympics? Is it the fact that we all have to pretend to be "British" for a few weeks. Just like during Wimbledon. "Chris Hoy's a great example of British achievement." "Just look at what we can achieve if we give our sports proper funding." No - that's what happens when a Scot gets English funding. But, to be fair, until the Scots get washed away by memories of Braveheart and vote for devolution (and quickly go the way of Glasgow Rangers) we will continue to let them live on hand outs so we might as well get some gold and a sports personality out of it.
Is it the 'sports' that are now in the Olympics that annoy me? Greco Roman Wrestling? BMX? Women's Beach Volleyball (sponsored by Television X)? Canooing? Again, no. It would be pretty small-minded of me to attack a global sporting smorgasboard because they "had bloody foreign sports in it". I am not the type to go abroad, find an English pub, eat egg and chips, drink Carling, watch the football and start a fight with the long-suffering locals, and I'm not about to start now. No, I won't be watching Greco Roman Wrestling. No I won't be watching Handball and I most certainly won't be watching the synchronised swimming. I will, as a non-existent god is my witness, be watching the Women's Beach Volleyball.
What fucks me off to stages of apoplexy is how bloody seriously the whole thing takes itself. I'm talking specifically about the Orwellian rules surrounding mentioning 'Olympics', using a logo, saying 'London' in the same sentence as 'running' and using the colours of the Olympic rings (ie all primary colours). The company I work for is loosely connected to the Olympics and the rule book that came over about what we can and can't say is absolutely mind-blowing. We aren't able to even hint at an 'event' involving 'sport' in 'London' alongside our logo. We genuinely can't use the Olympic colours of the rings in the same image/design. And from what I've heard, if there are any Little Chefs still going - good luck at trying to sell an Olympic Breakfast in 2012.
For an event that is meant to be 'for amateurs' I find it repulsive that it has turned into a rolling, festering cabaret of exuberance and greed that, like U2, goes from country to country, bleeding it dry, and then moving on. How much has the UK spent on these games? Will we get that money back? Will anyone living within 200 miles of the games be able to get to work? Will we even be able to say the word 'Olympic' without being tasered and hurled in the back of a Brand Van and taken to Brand Awareness Camp? I wouldn't go in the showers if I were you.
So, basically, if you take the Olympics for what it is, you have supreme athletes competing across a range of disciplines against the best in the world to see who is going to be crowned the best of the best. Lovely. Spot on. Chalk me in for some of that. I'd watch that day in day out.
What we'll have is every advert under the sun making reference to Olympics, every front page of every newspaper prattling on about Olympics, every company that has paid upwards of £10 million using their logo alongside the Olympic logo. We'll have flags and t-shirts being confiscated on the way in because they contradict the main sponsors. And we'll have a fair bit of mess to clean up once the world and his wife have pissed off in August.
So, because I understand the power of suggestion, and search engine optimisation, and annoying people, I will now use the logos you aren't allowed to use, with the colours that are banned and make crass links to the Olympics which explicitly connect my blog to their brand. Let's see how long I last before I'm asked to take it down or I'm arrested. Ahhhh the Olympic spirit. (If you are the judge presiding over my case and reading this then I was joking below and I'm really sorry.)
Usain Bolt endorses this Blog and he says it is directly linked to him running faster
Great post.
ReplyDeleteI am going to make sure that I am some 2400 miles away from London while the Olympic tedium is going on.
Interestingly I tried to post a link to your blog on a BBC message board but my post was very quickly removed for 'Breaking the house rules'.
ReplyDeleteHa ha yeah the BBC certainly like to 'walk the line' as it were. Thanks for your comments and support. It really does frustrate me that the whole Olympics thing is a business. That said, I've been touched by the genuine sentiment the people of the UK have for the torch being passed around GB so it certainly does have some merit.
ReplyDeleteTwo things.....don't complain about having to be Nationalistic then complain about someone from Scotland getting English funding....rather hypocritical to complain about nationalism in one breath then getting all Nationalistic in the second.
ReplyDeleteWith regards the endless blanket coverage, whilste I agree with you, I'd rather it was this than Christmas, where we are celebrating nobodies acheivements, and also, rather rudely I'd add, "where have you been these last 30 years or so!!!" Anyone getting frustrated by how beauty and acheivement having the hounds of capitalism hot on its heals, needs to check out world history from the rennaisence onwards..."was it ever thus!"
I see your point Simon but I think you've misunderstood my issue. I prefer to be known as English rather than British. The 'having to be British' bit was more of a comment on this rather than "I don't want to be nationalistic, actually, yes I do". I'm proud to be English and it irks me that Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish bretherin can be fiercely patriotic and deride England, where as, when we do it, it's nationalistic and racist. I wish the other UK countries nothing but success but I feel English, not British so this is wear my heart lies.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I'll make a proud U-turn in that I haven't been shouting "Who cares" at the TV. Quite the opposite. If it's someone wearing a Team GB shirt, no matter their background or country of origin, I have been cheering as mentally as the nation seemed to do during the royal wedding. I have been caught up in the fever.
However, I still HATE the branding regulations and I take on board your latter comment. It doesn't come as a surprise and it's certainly not the first 'pure' thing to be tarnished through the eternal search for profit. But just because it happens, doesn't make it right or acceptable.
Cheers for your thoughts though.